It Might Not Be Eloquent, but it's Consistent

A peek into the inner workings of being a consistent writer.

Photo by John Thomas on Unsplash

I thought a lot about this week’s essay and I realized I didn’t have anything big to say. So then I thought I’d just scrap it, try again next week. But Human Feelings is about one main thing for me - being consistent in my writing. And that means showing up, even when the words aren’t flowing, even when I don’t feel like I have anything to say, and still giving you a glimpse into my life - whether it’s thoughtfully eloquent or not. So here are some things on my mind at the moment.

//

As I write this on Tuesday, January 30th, it’s my youngest son’s birthday! If you’ve been around awhile you know that this child has put us through the ringer, specifically in the first year or two of his life. There were times, if I’m being honest, that I didn’t particularly like my child. And that feeling is one of the most wretched I’ve ever had (and likely, a post for another day). But today, as we mark him being in our world for six years, I can’t help thinking about what a different kid he is now. When he entered the world on that cold January day, it was as if he was mad at everyone and everything. But now, he tends to go with the flow (for the most part, he is only six after all), no matter what life throws at him - like a broken leg. I’m so thankful we’ve gotten to this point with him because Harrison is one of the most beautiful souls I’ve been lucky enough to meet.

//

Do you ever get the feeling like you’re trying to impress someone but it doesn’t feel like it’s working and you don’t know what you’re doing wrong? And then you start to question every single thing about who you are and what you do? And you know that you’re doing it, and you know it’s illogical, and yet you can’t help yourself? Do you ever feel that way? No? Oh. Me neither.

//

As I’ve helped a handful of clients with their Substack’s, I got this wild hair up my butt to create something called Substack in a Week where I walk people through step-by-step how to create a Substack, we create the graphics you need, we talk through free vs. paid, we plan out a month of content, etc., all in one week. I love this feeling of getting to be in the very beginning of something powerful for someone, helping them create something new and bring it into the world. And I cannot wait to get started with those who have signed up.

//

I am historically a terrible sleeper. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE to sleep, but I am just not good at it, and becoming a parent only exacerbated it. I get in these spells sometimes (I’m in it now) where for a week straight I only sleep around 4 hours per night. I’ve finally found what works to help me fall asleep (stretching before bed, melatonin, and listening to Harry Styles on the calm app tell me a story). But staying asleep is a whole other thing. And if one of my boys gets up in the middle of the night, forget it - I’m never going back to sleep. So then it’s just me and my thoughts at 3 am waiting for the sun to rise. Thankfully, I’ve got books. BUT! I’m trying to get back into the habit of journaling before bed. That seems to help my thoughts slow down so that I can start to quiet them again and hopefully get back to sleep. Anyone else find journaling before bed helps them sleep better? (Please also note: this isn’t a request for sleep advice, trust me, I’ve tried all the things.)

//

I’ve been taking meetings with a handful of new clients and every single time I get so excited. There are so many incredible women out there doing incredible things and I’m so honored to get to be a part of them. Whether it’s launching a Substack or a podcast, women are changing the freaking world. I know there will come a time when my capacity is maxed out and I won’t be able to say yes to projects I really want to do and that’s when I’ll be sad — or, that’s when I start my own agency and am able to hire someone to help me say YES.

//

I’ll stop with the rambling now, but thank you for being here to read through the inner workings of attempting to develop a consistent writing habit, even when the words are finding it hard to make it to the surface.