Is it finally time to say goodbye to social media?

It's the question that's been on my mind most lately.

Photo by Rodion Kutsaiev on Unsplash

My screen time has skyrocketed since January 20th. I’m picking up my phone much more than I’m picking up a book. I’m letting what I’m seeing online dictate how I’m feeling offline. And what I’m seeing is bleak, it’s dangerous, it’s downright terrifying. But I also don’t know how to look away.

I’ve had a complicated relationship with social media for a few years now. That complication (and embarrassment) led to me taking the summer off of it last year and everything just felt better once I did. I know this to be true, that I feel better when I’m not regularly engaging with social media, but I just can’t seem to help it - I’m sure I’m not alone in that.

Back in 2020, the Pew Research Center said that 64% of Americans say social media has a negative impact on the way things are going in this country. In May 2024, UC Davis detailed the anxiety, depression, and loneliness we’ve attributed to social media.

We know it’s bad for us. We do it anyway.

And yet… I don’t want to necessarily look away. I don’t think we should. Ignoring what is happening in America isn’t the way to push forward. To tune out the news is to tune out what the government is doing to our fellow Americans. And while it’s uncomfortable and can come with a feeling of helplessness, it’s also important to be knowledgeable.

Even still, we have to protect ourselves. Dealing with this administration and the repercussions we’re going to be feeling for years to come is definitely a marathon, not a sprint. And if we burn ourselves out in month one (which feels entirely possible at this point), all of our fight will be lost. Which is exactly what they want. They’re flooding the zone, counting on our flames being extinguished as we’re dealt blow after blow.

But the question is - HOW. How do we stay alert while staying sane? Is it even possible in this current climate? If we want to be informed and don’t want to be terrified every single day, how do we find that balance?

I shared last week in the group chat some things that I’m doing personally - following specific news sources, joining Bluesky to work on leaving Meta behind - but even still, I’m feeling overwhelmed. I don’t think the answer (for me, personally) is time limits or deleting it from my phone. But what is the solution? Is it reducing my social media use to a single platform - like Instagram or Bluesky? Is it removing it completely and relying on places like Substack and big media I trust to tell me what’s happening? And do I want to let the news chase me off of platforms where I have built real friendships and connections?

And really, are the complications I’m dealing with not actually a result only of the new administration, but of my feelings on social media in general?

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As a millennial, I have such fond memories of logging into AIM to see which of my friends were online, of having this new way to communicate with one another. I remember the message boards where you could connect with other teens around the WORLD. I am still Facebook friends with an English guy named Paul I met all those years ago on a message board.

Crafting my MySpace Top 8 felt like a full time job. Making sure I had the exact right song picked out when someone stopped by was a lot of (fun) pressure. And in the early days of Facebook and Instagram, I remember how great it was to get these small glimpses of someone else’s day - what they were eating, what they were thinking. It felt like I was connected to them in a more intimate way by knowing what they ate for lunch.

My entire magazine business was crafted online. Without it, I’m not certain what sort of career I’d be in right now. Social media was a huge part of that business from announcing our newest issues on Instagram to the thousand person strong community we hosted on Facebook where women could come to share their deepest secrets and desires without fear of judgment. I met one of my best friends (hi, Mia!) because of all of it.

Social media has been integral in my life. So why does it now feel like something I’m constantly battling?

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Sometimes I wonder what has had the biggest impact on how I feel about social media - is it the climate in America over the last (nearly) decade? Or is it simply that I’m getting older and what I want out of social media has drastically changed? Maybe I’ve changed, social media hasn’t, and that’s where the disconnect is.

Whatever the reason, it’s time to figure out how I want to move forward. Whether that involves social media or not, I’m tired of thinking about social media. I’m tired of contemplating my screen time and whether or not social media is healthy for me. I’m tired of wasting my time getting upset over every new headline when I could use that energy toward something that may make small change.

Nearly half of all social media users are cutting their consumption in 2025. We’ve all seen the decline in quality, the misinformation, the bots, and if what we’re expecting out of social media isn’t there anymore, maybe now is the time to cut the cord. To look back on it the way we do those early message boards and the Top 8, to begin having those “do you remember when we shared everything on Instagram?” types of conversations.

And maybe repairing the divide within our country starts with logging off and engaging with people in our real lives again. To hear from one another, to look into eyes across from ours and remember that we’re all human beings. And perhaps this is a naive way to look at it, but isn’t it at least a place to start? Something to try?

And maybe, just maybe, we’ll start to see that screen time go back down to a reasonable amount that doesn’t make us cringe. Maybe our shoulders will come down away from our ears. Maybe we’ll be able to take a deep breath in and push a deep breath out. Maybe that feeling of overwhelm will start to lessen. Maybe it’s time.